Barry Schwartz: The real crisis? We stopped being wise

Negativity

Peter Irvine, co-founder of Gloria Jean's Coffees writes: People who are in a negative state of mind will usually exaggerate the situation. They will often declare,"Everyone says this won't work!" or "Everyone thinks we should give up!" There have been many occasions where people have come to me and made similar statements such as, "Everyone is doing it this way." But when you ask who everyone includes, almost always you'll find that everyone ends up being one or two people. So in response to these sweeping statements, I learned to ask the question, "Who is everyone?" It's actually never anyone.

Too many unfair judgements have been made through ignorance. Have all the information in front of you before you pass judgement on a situation or on someone. After all, that's what you would want others to do to you.

He goes on to say.....

Negativity stunts your growth. If you have a negative attitude, you will stop growing; you will stop making wise decisions and this will slow your progress. People with a negative mindset tend to believe that every decision they make will bring about a poor result. If you are like that, you need to fight those thoughts by reminding yourself of your successes. You need to remind yourself of what you have achieved to date and start to develop and more balanced, positive attitude. By maintaining a negative spirit, you limit your effectiveness in the present and you sabotage your future; you stop moving towards the resources that will eventually bring you success.

So you see that viewing every situation from a negative point of view is not a great way to manage your business, run your life or maintain relationships with other people. It's so easy to be negative with other people, but we have to learn to be positive and to see the best in each situation. We have to get away from the ceiling mentality in which we believe we have reached the ceiling or the potential in our business or relationships. if you believe you have achieved all that you can ever achieve, then you must believe that there are no more opportunities for you.

Time Warp

"People who I hung around with ten years ago are still doing the same things today. They still frequent the same bars and still do the same silly things. I'm not sorry I did those sorts of things ten years ago but I've moved on they, on the other hand, have not. It sad really to see them, they haven't grown, I can't stand to be in their presence now".

This was quoted by a friend of mine recently when speaking about his life over the last decade or so. I've spoken about it also.

We all have significant events that happen to us, trouble is some of us cling to those things and so we become that event, we become known as that person who loves to party or whose parents split up when he was young or whose brother was killed tragically.
All these events are life changing but we have to move on, we have to stop being recognised as this person, and instead be recognised for who and what we are.

At 87, George Burns said "I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life".
He lived to be 100.

Forget the past, significant though it may be.

Get on with living life now so you may make a better future.

Your choice.....

"Any change, any loss, does not make us victims.
Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented with and moving on.
No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something.
You always have a choice and the choice can be power."

Blaine Lee
The Power Principle

Strength or weakness?

John Maxwell says "One of the ways that you can tell your working in an area of strength is that it actually gives you energy. Even if you are in the early stages of your career or are starting out on a new venture and your not very good at something your doing, you can still tell it's an area of strength by paying attention to how you respond to your failures.
Mistakes that challenge you show your areas of strength.
Mistakes that threaten you show your areas of weakness."

We're told that we should always work to our strengths. This is another way of identifying those strengths

Have you ever thought about how your reaction to mistakes and failures may point to your areas of strength and weakness? It's an interesting thought.

Some mistakes motivate us to get it right, to do better, while others seem to make us defensive, unmotivated or angry.
Paying attention to the mistakes that challenge and motivate us will help us focus on our areas of strength.
Continuing to work in areas where mistakes threaten us will only succeed in making us unhappy and unmotivated.

When you encounter mistakes or failures that appear to motivate you take note, as they could be an area of strength for you and one which you can continue to focus on.

Change

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.

James Gordon, M.D

Vision

In his latest book, For this I was Born, Brian Houston states: 

"On its own a vision has limitations, but when linked to the cause of Christ, it has supernatural power and purpose. When you surrender your vision and future into Gods hands and align them with his will, your life is a miracle waiting to happen. The cause of Christ will take your personal vision, your passion, dreams and goals to levels you could never have imagined. 

Vision is essential, but the cause is powerful. The cause of the King is the impetus that keeps the church moving forward as a united force on the earth. Your vision tied to mine and that of other believers and underpinned by the cause brings great power and momentum. Together we have an incredible opportunity to bring positive and eternal change."

A powerful and accurate statement. When we understand that Christ came so that we may have life in abundance. When we understand that we have been set free. When we understand that it is finished, that the enemy has been defeated, only then, when we turn and concentrate our focus on a cause which greater than us will we see the miraculous happen. It is then that we will be able to effect positive change in our neighbourhood, city, nation and planet. 

Change for the better.

Our society is continually on the move. Life is always changing and we feel have to change in order to keep up. We change schools, we change jobs, we change friends, we change opinions, we change homes, we change cities where we live and we even often change our spouse.

Why are we doing this?

John Maxwell in his book titled Today Matters, suggests one reason is that we are looking for success. 

He says " We believe success is impossible, so we criticise it. We believe success is mystical, so we search for it. We believe success comes from luck, so we hope for it. We believe success is productivity, so we work for it. We believe success comes from opportunity, so we wait for it. We believe success comes from leverage, so we power up for it. We believe success comes from connections, so we network for it. We believe success comes from recognition so we strive for it. We believe success is an event, so we schedule it."

Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People quotes "Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don't put off being happy until some future date."

How often do we see people change jobs because they're "not happy". They start the new job and in a short time they're again "not happy". They change homes for the same reason and with the same result. The list of things that they change goes on and on, all with the same result, they're still "not happy". They want success in their life, yet it is elusive.

If one of the reasons our society is continually changing is that we are looking for success then I certainly believe in knowing what we want and going for it.

Change for the sake of change doesn't do it for me.

The correct use of positioning can however, be of great value.

Positioning is about being in the right place to allow a positive change to take place.

If you have a problem with alcohol and wish to correct this area of your life, then it would make sense not to continue frequenting bars. However, it is sometimes not that easy. You must position yourself so that going to the bar is not an option. Sadly this may involve changing friends. This is where most people have trouble because it is in their friends that they find their own identity and changing friends means they will lose that identity.

People who are not happy in their job often cite poor pay or conditions as the reason. I often find that it is their attitude that is poor because other things in their life are not going well.

We need to look at ourselves and ask, Why am I having a problem in this area?

If it's your attitude then get a better one. Stop confiding in negative people. 

As Dale Carnegie, also quotes: "Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain, and most fools do."

Find someone to whom you aspire and get alongside them.

Stop watching negative shows on TV and stop reading the gossip magazines. 

If it doesn't have a positive influence in your life then get rid of it.

Sometimes in our quest for greater success we take a job in another city. Where's the problem with this?

When we are successful, it is often as a result of not only our input but also the efforts of many other people who are alongside us. Put simply, they make us look good.

Take yourself out of this environment and go elsewhere and you will not have this same support network which you previously relied upon. If we haven't recognised the fact that others have contributed to our success then we may be setting up to fail.

Position yourself in such a way that you will have a good support network of friends and mentors. If you don't already have this network, then start getting one today.

Position yourself in such a way that you will have every chance of becoming a better person, leader, parent, spouse, sibling or friend.